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Commenter deti left this comment at Dalrock’s yesterday:

Women want all the benefits of marriage, but none of the obligations.

Women want the status, the money, the support, the air of legitimacy. But many women then balk and b**** and complain when it is suggested that marriage carries not only benefits, but also burdens and obligations.

Many women either don’t want to hear that not only will they GET some things in marriage; they will also have to GIVE some things too. Not only do they get to do some things they WANT to do, they will have to do things they MUST do.

Many women also complain because their decision to marry forces women to make clear choices that cannot be easily undone and that have very real consequences. Many of them don’t want to live with their choices, they don’t want adverse consequences, and they don’t want the idea of marital obligation.

This is the man’s side of the point of A Typical Day post.  Marriage is far more than a pretty wedding and then happy, happy, joy, joy.  The wedding day is arguably one of the least important days of the marriage because it is one of the easiest.  Of course the ceremony is important, but it is one minute part of your marriage.  Marriage is not about the husband (and often the wife) going off to work to buy a house, cars, phones, etc.  It about propping each other up and then down the road propping up the family.  It about working for each other.  Not the satisfaction of it.  If you get satisfaction from your work (this applies to SAH work as well), bonus, but that is not the point.

Marriage is an obligation to your spouse.  An obligation to care for your spouse, NO MATTER WHAT.  It is not a 50%/50% from each spouse as so many like to say but a 100%/100% from each spouse.  Is 100% attainable?  No, not really.  Some days will be far more than others, but it is something that one should strive for.

Your husband is the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with.  It is your job to prop him up and always be there for him.  You will find that when you do this, if you pay close attention, he is doing the same for you.

*Note:  I said specifically marriage here, but I am really talking about any serious relationship.  I don’t wish to crowd the post with slashes and whatnot as it is universal.  I also think women need to show at the beginning of a relationship that these are things that she understands and wants to do if the relationship takes off, only she needs to temper it way back as to not crowd the man.

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