Leap of a Beta has a new post at his place, Staged Reality that I think many of you will like. It is a very good post on being masculine. In it he points out that he disagrees with part of my post, On Power. Precisely, he disagrees with this:
A man is meant to be a Rock for his family and I akin a woman to being more of a reed in the wind. She will bend and sway as she must, but she will never break.
He took “She will bend and sway as she must“ to mean, as he says, “a woman switching back and forth on matters instead of sticking to the things that are important.” If Leap took my words to mean this, I must assume that others did as well. I want to clarify this as it is incredibly important. What I mean when I say a woman will bend and sway as she must, is that she must bend and sway where her husband and their lives together take them. I left this comment as a clarification and I would like to further explain what I mean here.
. . . maybe this will make more sense and think of it in terms of a family and not husband and wife. A woman is more akin to the steel reinforcements inside a skyscraper (This sounds lofty, I know, but it’s the best analogy I can think of). During the storm, she must bend and sway with the rock of the building to support it, never complaining and going where the rock tells her to go. When something unexpected and difficult comes up that the husband must do, she silently bends with him so he can get it done. When life takes the rock in a completely opposite direction, she quickly and silently shifts with it, always quietly supporting.
To further explain, let me give you a couple of examples. Things come up in any marriage that are going to be difficult. The head of the family, the Rock will lead and the woman should follow and support her man through these difficult times. She should bend and sway where he leads without question. For example, I remember an example Rollo wrote about in one of his post where he described sitting down and telling his wife that they were going to move to further his career (if I remember correctly. Forgive me, I cannot remember what post he wrote this in). She could have gotten angry at his moving their family away from their established home and all of their friends (and I believe her family as well, though I can’t remember for sure). She didn’t complain or give him a difficult time about this. She simply said something along the lines of, where ever you go, I will go. Her husband is her home, not the place they currently lived. She quietly supported him and bent with him to their new home.
Another example might be the difficulties a man might encounter at work. Things happen that will hinder your plans. He gets home late for dinner, has to work weekends, or last minute things come up that force you to change plans. These things should be understood and supported. A wife shouldn’t get angry (I know there are men who let things like this happen ALL the time. I am not talking about that and if that is a problem I think it should be asked why it happens all the time). She needs to be understanding. She needs to bend and sway with his work and if things come up that will change any of their plans she must quietly support him in it. Not get angry and bitter about it.
This applies to so many important and not so important things in a marriage. She bends where he leads, always quietly being there for him. She stands by his side in the good times and the bad.. At times, he will only need to know that she is there with him and for him, while others he will need to lean on her for tremendous support. No matter what, she must be there, never breaking.