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There is something I think every wife should strive to learn when it comes to her husband.  Learn to know what he wants before he wants it.  This one is a little bit trickier than the other Little Things I’ve talked about (here and here) and when you are first together or first married, it may not seem so little.  The more you pay attention and the better you get to know him, the easier this will become.  Learn what he likes and what he doesn’t like.  More than that,  learn when he wants certain things.  Some will be easy.  Does he like to unwind after a crummy day with anything special?  Have it ready and waiting for him when he gets home.  Is it a Scotch?  Pay attention to how many ice cubes he takes.   Is it wine? If white, get it in the fridge.  If red, maybe it needs to go in the fridge and maybe not.  Pay attention to how he likes it.  Also pay attention to what kind of glass he uses.  If you get something wrong when you are trying to do this and he corrects you, don’t get angry.  Pay attention.  He will know you are trying to help, but you also need to know that for many of these things, a man can’t relax unless what he likes is done how he likes it.  There is nothing wrong with him telling you this.  Next time, make the adjustment and watch him smile and breath a satisfied sigh.

Is there a favorite shirt or specific clothing he likes to wear doing specific things?  Maritus is a hunter.  All his hunting clothes need to be washed in special soap and dried with special dryer sheets.  It’s just how it works.  Hunting is also a big deal to him and something he looks forward to all summer.  By the end of a long week at work to go off  to the woods means the world to him.  It’s being in the woods that matters, not getting ready to go.  So, I try to get as much of his hunting gear ready for him to go as I am able.  The less he has to think about, the more he can enjoy himself.  On a Friday night, coming in from work and seeing his hunting gear cleaned, dry and hanging ready to go the next morning, with little thought from him means a lot.

Another thing to pay attention to is when your man just wants to be.  There will be times that he wants, and very likely needs, to just be alone.  Watch his moods and you will learn the signs.  When you do learn, you very simply ask him, “Is there anything I can get for you?”  If yes, get it for him, give him a kiss on the cheek and leave.  You don’t need to leave the house, but leave the room and go do your own thing.  If he doesn’t this for only a couple of hours, don’t go back in. If he needs this for a whole day every now and then, peek in on him and ask if he’s hungry, thirsty, etc.  But for the most part, just leave him alone.

I know the common complaint is that the woman does all the doting and the man takes it for granted.  I am sure this happens, but I don’t think that is commonplace at all.  The look of relief/satisfaction/gratefulness you will receive is wonderful.  Don’t expect him to thank you every time.  He shouldn’t have to.  Don’t do this expecting anything in return.  Rather, do it because he’s your husband and you love him.  This is something that you can give to him and give it often.  What’s more, after a time, it becomes easy and it brings a lot of joy for both of you.  You will also likely find that your husband begins to notice little things about you as well, and that those little things are already completed because it makes you happy.

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