I started taking notes on this post nearly a month ago and it is something I have had in mind for a very long time. Only, I could not get my thoughts straight enough on this topic to be comfortable attempting to post on it. I had been thinking about it for most of the weekend, decided it was time to attack it, but had still been apprehensive about it when, lo and behold, Rollo posted this gem today (read the comments as well, as some are very relevant to my point). From the post:
Hypergamy wants an optimized state.
Yes. Yes it does. Hypergamy (or concupiscence? I am still working on that one, but I think so) not only wants it, but demands it. When this state is reached by a woman there is nothing that will stop her from loving that man and she will do almost anything (and in some cases, anything) to be with he who gives this to her.
There is a lot of talk around the manosphere about how a woman will take a man for half his worth, the house, the kids, everything, and it obviously happens (and happens too often). One can read personal stories of this happening at just about every site out there. What one rarely hears about are those women who can’t even fathom doing this. It is anathema to even consider it for a moment. There is talk of these women being “red pill” or the “good ones,” and while their personalities obviously make a difference, what one does not often read is the reason these women will never leave; that these women not only love, but willingly dote, serve and submit to their husbands and are extraordinarily happy to do it. The reason these women are happy is because, overwhelmingly, their husbands are overtly masculine. They are the rocks that their wives will cling to and give everything to prop up.
This manliness is quite separate from what many understand Game to be, as one doesn’t often hear about these men being overly concerned with whether or not they were able to neg effectively or whether or not they passed a fitness test. What they are concerned with is their goal. What is important to them is attaining that goal and surrounding themselves with people who will help them reach that goal (and not allowing those who will not into their lives). Game is not a concern to them as they know who they are on such profound level that it’s simply unimportant. He is Man and that’s all anyone needs to know. Now, that being said, I am not dismissing Game as I think that given how men are blatantly taught to be effeminate today that it is an effective tool for one striving to reach this state of Man. I may not agree with all it’s applications (spinning plates, P and D, et cetera), but it is a tool for men to use in their growth in becoming Man.
These Men who achieve this have a power over women that I don’t think many men yet fully understand. There is still a lot of talk of the risks of divorce and what a women is state sanctioned to do to her husband. Yet, for a woman lucky enough to be married to man like this, leaving him for any amount of money is inconceivable. I’ve been told “that word does not mean what you think it means“, but for her what she would lose is far more valuable than anything she could ever take from him.
If one reads the various sites on a regular basis, one sees more and more evidence of this type of masculinity. Masculinity that is there for itself and for it’s own purposes (this sounds selfish, though it does not have to be. The purpose is often higher than the man). Many of these men have stated that they are going their own way, not so much out of giving up but rather they refuse to settle. They have a list of things that MUST be in a woman and they simply have not found a girl to match it yet. As a man like this is very enticing to women if and when he does choose, the women around him will notice and take note of whom he chose. “Who is she, what is it about her that drew him to her, what qualities does she posses that I might lack?”. Other women will take note and some will try to figure out what they can do to attract a man of the same caliber (while other will deride the woman that was chosen, it is inevitable and has always been).
My point in all of this is that the strength and draw of strong masculinity on women still seems to be vastly underrated. There are often comments of how men will never marry because the thought of gaming their wives every day for the rest of their lives is simply overwhelming. It is not that one need game his wife everyday for the rest of his life, it’s that he must be a man everyday for the rest of his life. It’s not something that he must do for her, to make her happy or to make her tingle. It is something he must do for himself because he is MAN. For this reason and for no other.
***This is not a plea to Man-Up Bill Bennet style. Rather, it’s a call for men to embrace what God has given them for mens’ own sakes. People in your lives may have taught you untruths, untruths that were embraced unquestioningly, but your masculinity is an extremely large part of who you are. Your education may have mislead you but you can educate yourself to the truth.
Robert M Hutchins writing about the crisis of the West’s education in that it is too specialized:
. . . and in view of the urgent need for unity and community, it does not seem an exaggeration to say that the present crisis calls first of all for an education that shall emphasize those respects in which men are the same, rather than those in which they are different. The West needs an education that draws out our common humanity rather than our individuality . . .
In this connection we might recall the dictum of Rousseau: ‘It matters little to me whether my pupil is intended for the army, the church, or the law. Before his parents chose a calling for him, nature called him to be a man . . . When he leaves me, he will be neither a magistrate, a soldier, nor a priest; he will be a man.’
Men may not have Rousseau to turn to today, but these truths are out there to be found and used to become the Man you choose to be.