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I have discovered that over the past few years that I have so immersed myself in certain sub genres of our society that I find it hard to tell how much of the information has slowly leaked out into the world at large. One of those sub genres is weight management and weight lifting. Most or all of what I am about to write my regular readers likely already know, but seven years ago I did not have this information and my own weight loss would have been much easier and far less frustrating if I had. With that in mind, I would like to pass on this knowledge for anyone who hasn’t learned of it yet.
When I started dieting the first time I had about 30 pounds to lose. This would have taken me down to my lowest weight I remember at my height and athleticism (I played several sports in high school and trained martial arts in college). When I finally got my head around losing the weight (meaning I finally found the motivation) I started out the no bread, pasta, or sugar route. I knew nothing of low carb diets, only that weight loss could occur by cutting out these foods. I didn’t work out beyond an occasional brisk walk. A good amount of the weight came off but I stalled out 15-20 pounds in. I then switched to Weight Watchers and lost almost all of the rest of the weight. I should have been thrilled but looking in the mirror I looked nothing like my former athletic self. I was very close to the weight but still looked fat in the mirror. I had little idea why, and slowly started to put about 10 pounds back on. We talked about joining a gym but didn’t really make a final decision until Maritus just came home with a membership one day as a surprise. A couple of weeks later, after we had both managed to overtrain, (add to this list flu like symptoms for me) Maritus came home with some books on weight lifting, HIT training for him and Sculpting Her Body Perfect for me. Thank goodness for that book. It would be three years before I learned to eat much better, but I was on my way to lifting weights.
Lifting weights is so incredibly important because muscle burns many more calories than fat. The reason I had become skinny fat is because, while restricting my calories, not only was my body burning fat, it was burning muscle. I didn’t know this was how the body works. So, even though the scale was reading what I had wanted it to, approximately 25% of my weight loss was due to burned muscle tissue. I was skinny fat because I had burned away all my athletic lean muscle. It dramatically slowed my metabolism and I had to eat even fewer calories to continue to lose weight, which would have led to even more muscle loss. Then if I cheated, it was so much easier to add the weight back on as I didn’t have as much muscle burning calories throughout the day. This is why weight lifting is so incredibly important. You will build more muscle to burn even more calories even while inactive. It was when I finally learned about low carb that I got the closest I have been to my high school/college weight and size. The important thing with low carb is that you are eating far more protein than a SAD entails. This protein is vital to muscle growth and diet is vital to weight loss. Approximately 85% of your weight loss goals will be achieved outside the gym with what you do and do not put in your mouth (I can’t find a link for this number right now and it may be off by a bit. If anyone has more information on this I would appreciate it. Just know that diet is key. Without it, you will never reach your goals, no matter how much you work out).
So now, here we are today. I’m about 15 pounds from where I want to be, as for the past four months I have been suffering terrible allergies that have kept me out of the gym (and many days made it very difficult to eat right). Unfortunately, my allergies do not present with the normal itchy eyes and runny nose, rather I suffer from exhaustion, terrible sinus headaches, and sinus pressure that causes significant dizziness and nausea. What fun! While I can still mostly function to get the kids through school, getting to the gym and eating right go pretty much out the window. I’m too nauseous to stomach all the protein and fat and too tired and dizzy to train. Last week, this latest spell finally ended and I am back to the low carb and the gym (I have had periods like this for the past 3 years. Immunotherapy shots help tremendously, however it was just a particularly bad fall). The good news is, I’ve been here before so there is not even a shadow of a doubt that I will be able to get back to where I was. The frustrating thing for me is that I tend to get sick right when my goals are in sight but I’m not quite there. Each time I recover, I tend to work through my old goal only to set a new one, so I really cannot complain. So, I’m back at square . . . I don’t even know. I’ve lost count. I’m slowly getting my motivation back and very much looking forward to getting back into my nice clothes (so is Maritus). I will get there but it takes patience and a lot of work. Only, I know that after a couple of weeks I will love the work it takes and I will crave it. You can get there, too. Just know, that when you are first starting it takes longer to reach this place. Give it time and work hard. It will come.
Originally, this post was going to entail my favorite new training exercises, but I think I will save that for another day. Today, ladies (and men), just realize how important weight training is to maintaining and losing weight. You always hear what the scale reads is not important, and in reality this is very true. It is how you look in the mirror and how your clothes fit that really counts (and, off course, how we look nude for our men). By all means, use the scale as a motivator if it helps. I have to weigh myself every day as it keeps me from raiding the fridge (food is my vice). That’s what works for me. Find what works for you and use it as best you can to your advantage. Also, find what you love at the gym. I was always an aggressive athlete. I love the discipline of it. It’s the one place I can go and lay it all on the table, get aggressive (yes, I know, not very feminine, but like I said, I was an athlete. It came with the territory) in an acceptable fashion and kill it. If you are lucky, you will be one of those people who gets a wonderful endorphin high while you are working out. It takes time to really reach that place, but the more you stick with it, the more you will not only love the gym, but crave it.
Start out slowly and stay away from the machines. Go right for the free weights and the cables. You need to train your stabilizer muscles as well as the main muscle groups. The machines are too focused on on particular muscle. However, when you use the free weights, bars and cables you are forced to use opposing muscle groups as well and it works all the little muscles in between. You will train more thoroughly and be less prone to injury this way. Also, head to BodyBuilding.com for more information than you could ever possibly hope for as well as hundreds of different exercises for your whole body. Another favorite of mine is T-Nation. This is, however, heavily geared toward men. I go there mostly for motivation to reach for higher goals and to tweak my form or routine. These things will come with time, but you must first get in there, get base routine started and learn correct form for each new move (this is so important). Find your favorite exercises and learn them perfectly. You will know when it’s time to add to your repertoire as you’ll want to learn more (which you will have to do to continue to make gains).
For those of you unable to make it to the gym, there is a lot that you can do at home with very little equipment. I recommend BodyRock.tv (which has changed quite a bit since the last time I checked in. It has grown. Also, if it is still similar to what it was a couple of years ago, the guys will love the videos). The point is, you want to build muscle. You must not be worried that you will end up looking like this:
Won’t ever happen.
You cannot. Women do not have enough testosterone in our systems to naturally look that way. You can, however (depending on lots of different factors), look like this:
Jamie Eason. A famous female body builder.
One last thing, you can take lifting weights as far as your body will allow it. However, you should be aware of what your husband finds attractive. Some men do not like overt muscles on a woman. If this is the case, use lower weights with higher repetitions. You will gain tone without bulk or striations. Some men do find it very attractive and they admire the discipline behind what it takes to achieve. It’s really up to you (and your genetics) how far you wish to take it.
Well said and great advice.
As much as i love the holidays and family food, i cant wait for this year to end so i can go back to hardcore for 3 months solid. I have a new goal.
I want to be able to wear the Bane outfit for Halloween next year. I’ve been practicing his voice with chilling accuracy 😀
(not me, but it’s the dream!!!)
I was a bodybuilder (competitive and won lots of stuff) in college and also I competed in powerlifting. from probably age of 16 until I was in my 30’s (with some time off when I had kids.) you are right on target here. I re-started my bodybuilding program pretty seriously in the past year and am thinking about competing as master in powerlifting women’s 115# division next summer. I look better now than I have looked in a really long time and my husband is totally loving it!! me too!! lots of energy and it’s great to feel and look great.
Starting strength on amazon helped me greatly. If I remember right it has some great advice in there for women and the differences you’ll need in form due to different body builds and all that. A great amount is available on amazon for free, so read some of that if you want to see if you think it’d work for you.
My gym gave a free personal training session with my membership, so I used the knowledge I gained from the book, told the trainer what I wanted to be able to do well (“I want to use free weights to lower my body fat while increasing my muscle mass using only free weights while focusing on core strength”) to get good tips on how to get a beginner’s body up to stuff for the free weights. Good tips on how to use the ropes, stability ball while pressing dumb bells, and other full weight stuff to work on my form and balance strength between my dominant (right) and left side of my body so that I didn’t overcompensate one side and hurt myself.
I’ve taken things slowly because I don’t have a spotter (harder to push to full exhaustion while staying safe) but still see regular gains.
Meant to say this – but if your gym DOESN’T give you a free trainer work out, probably worth spending the money on a session just to get the basic tips for form. Its critical to get the form basics down for both gains and avoiding injuries. 40 dollars a session is much less than thousands of dollars for surgery if you mess your body up.
I see this is a close fit for something I found while reading the Bible recently.
If you’ve read the book of Genesis then you came across the story where Abraham lied about his wife when he visited Egypt. He said she was his sister. He did this so the men of the place wouldn’t kill him for her since she was so beautiful.
If you remember Sarai was taken into Pharaoh’s household. A plague came upon them because of Sarai and Pharaoh gave her back to Abraham untouched along with lots of gifts so that Abraham would pray to the Lord to heal them.
Abraham pulled the same stunt when visiting the Kingdom of King Abimalech, with the same results. It was at this time in the narrative that I noticed something for the first time. Visiting Abimalech happened after we were told how old Sarai was. She was 99 at the time.
Think about that for a minute. We know human genetics were more fit back then but there must have been some other things going on as well. For example we are told Sarai was very beautiful. Apparently she kept this beauty past menopause.
The other thing that occurred to me was that she was obviously taking care of herself in regards to diet and exercise otherwise she would not have been good looking enough to come to the attention of two kings to the point that they brought her into their households. Would that have happened if she wasn’t fit and healthy? I don’t think so. These men were kings, they could have any woman in their kingdoms that they wished. They chose Sarai as soon as they heard of her beauty.
There really is no excuse for looking like a schlub as you age. You will look older but you don’t have to be fat, out of shape and have diet related illnesses.
toned is perfect. muscular…..ew. next i’ll be looking for a shaved adam’s apple.
M3,
I struggle this time of year as well. It start at the same time it turns cold. My body wants nothing to do with good meat and wants carbs, carbs, carbs. I hate it. Then come January all the healthy food sounds really good again. I hate it.
Love the Bane costume.
Welcome Mina! I think it’s amazing that you compete.
I love the energy that comes from training, though now that I’m just getting back into it after so long, it takes awhile for it to come back. Training is still making me tired. Oh well. It’s come.
Leap,
We are big fans of Mark Rippetoe. I am working on getting my squats low enough and it is quite hard. I prefer them to parallel, though. I haven’t read Starting Strength yet and didn’t know it had advice in there for women as well. We have it in the house so I will have to pull it out. Thanks.
Yup.
With him being a huge advocate of “just straight up and down” for most of the motions, it’s no surprise that most of the advice I think I remember for women was small variations/tips for how to achieve that with your form and stances while also avoiding injuries.
Let me know if my memory is wrong. i wasn’t reading it for women to begin with, but I’ll avoid advocating it for women if my memory is incorrect.
Athor,
Thank you for your comment. I do have some sympathy for people who have been misinformed, however, all this information is going more mainstream everyday. It is on hand to be heavily researched, for free, for those who want it. There is nothing to lose in comparing information and seeing what works best for each individual.
Danny,
Would you consider Jamie Easton to be toned or muscular?
Heh, it might be a while before I get a chance to read it, but I will.
All good. I’ll probably be re-reading a few sections here in the next day or two anyways.
re: Mark Rippetoe – Just got done squatting about a half hour ago. I kept hearing him say (in his Texas drawl) “Hip drive, gotta have the hip drive!” LOL 🙂 For the record I am working REALLY hard to get muscular. Really hard. So far all I have achieved is “super toned”. Just to give you an idea what it takes for a woman to build serious muscle. Most likely: Drugs. If it didn’t I’d be bulging right now and I am not even close. I do like the muscley look for women but my husband has been pretty clear that there’s a line he does not want me to cross. He is loving the results so far though.
Here’s a photo I really like, she is probably too “big” for most people’s tastes but her body style is my goal. She is exactly my height but weighs 15 lbs more than me and her bodyfat is 15% whereas I am still hovering around 22%. I showed this pic to my husband and his only statement was “I gotta get you a pair of tiny pink hot pants” (implied message: “they are to be worn only at home in our gym!”) http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/photos/view-user-photo/16341162
Big three…squats, deadlift, and bench are a must for me…they are my least favorite exercises but the ones I get the most result from. Then the core workout to stabilize everything. Any other lifts is just for enjoyment.
Although I have a back issue right now and can’t squat heavy…when I was squatting heavy you can definitely feel a difference in your body. I felt more powerful, masculine, and horny. Everything I’ve seen is if there is one exercise you SHOULD do it’s the squat because it works out 90% of the muscles in your body.
And of note…the women I see in the gym that routinely squat, have the finest asses around.
Deadlift. My favorite!!
Mina,
There is definitely a line, and I think it’s different from man to man. Also, I think it depends on if your man lifts as well. In my experience a man who is very much into lifting admires a more muscular body.
taterearl,
Yep, squats are where one needs to go if pressed for time. I have a love/hate relationship with them. Right now, I hate them. In a month, I hope to love them again.
Mina,
For your deadlifts, do you use a hex bar or just a regular bar? If you have a choice at your gym, what’s the reason for your preference?
I’ve had a love/hate relationship with squats for years. But the biggest thing that keeps me going is the intense soreness my legs go through if I don’t do them for a while and then start back up again. If you walk up stairs when it happens, you know what I mean.
SR-
personally, she’s at my border. she’s toned but not TOO muscular. then again…..i’m not a blonde guy. body wise….she’s good. as you know only brunettes show up on my radar.
the sad thing is…..i’m a man, NONE of what i just said would keep me from putting my mule inside her. sad, i know. we’re that simple.
I do it all very old school. Straight olympic bar 45# with an over/under grip. When I was in my 20s I had a 275# deadlift at a body weight of 105#. sigh!! those were the days 🙂
As to “taste”: I know Jamie works hard for what she gets, she seems to be the quintessential “hard gainer”. My preferences always geared more to the Juliette Bergmann type perfectly balanced yet very muscular female bodybuilder.
http://www.efitnessmodels.com/2010/01/27/juliette-bergmann-ifbb-pro-bodybuilder/
Good stuff here Stingray, I’ve always been more into cardio than strength training. Probably why I’m not getting very good results. I’m not a part of a gym and I only have small hand weights that I use with videos. What would you buy to start strength training with?
No one’s mentioned Crossfit!
I love Crossfit. You work out insanely hard, but it’s infinitely scaleable both up and down. It’s a mix of everything, so you train heavy lifts, but also bodyweight movements, speed, endurance, power. You lean out pretty quick because your heart rate is inevitably up high, but you’re also building tons of strength because the movements all require muscular work.
Crossfit took me from skinny fat (aka noodle arms) to lean and defined. Now I do a superslow-type protocol. You use very smooth-running machines and do very heavy weights incredibly slowly. No putting it down or locking out the joints, just stay continuously under load for about 1:30. I’m down to doing two exercises – leg press and pulldown which work the entirely of my lower and upper body, respectively. I’m under load for 3 minutes and come out feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck. Work out is once a week max, I do it more like once a month now, and still stronger and stronger each time.
I’m thinking of going to a gym for some traditional lifting now though. I miss deadlifts especially!
With respect to diet, I’ve actually stepped away from the high-protein, low-carb this year. I think it’s a great way to break the SAD habits, but I don’t think it’s ultimately optimal. Stingray, if you’re having allergy/sickness problems and overtraining easily you might want to think about playing around with your diet some more.
If you’re interested I can make a few suggestions. I don’t want to hijack your blog. I’ve been researching nutrition pretty intensively over the last few years due to my fiance’s diabetes and my own Pill-induced health issues, so I can spout off for a long time, but I wait till I’m prompted now 😛
As for body types, I’m rather fond of this girl’s:
Her arms look relatively small when relaxed but are big when she’s using them, which I think is a good balance. Then again I might be biased because that’s just the type of muscle I tend to put on naturally 😛
I’m getting my free weights on this weekend, I’M SO EXCITED!! I’m having the same problem you had, that I’ve lost 30 lbs but I think I look exactly the same. It’s so frustrating.
I’ve also heard that The New Lifting Rules for Women is also a good book. Gonna pick up the one you suggested too.
Phedre: nice pic, I agree. Great shape/form I’d love to look like her!!
Sis: Cardio-only exercise programs tend to make you “skinny-fat”. One simply cannot be in shape without a base of good solid muscle.
Remember that muscle is much more dense than fat (pic:http://www.onemorebite-weightloss.com/muscle-to-fat.html )
So if you add 5 lbs of muscle but lose 5 lbs of fat you’ll lose inches but not “weight”. Ignore the scale and get a body fat tester! 🙂
That’s right. I weigh only 2 lbs less than I did at my thinnest pre-weights, but I actually have about 10 lbs more muscle. Considering I’m barely over 100 lbs that’s a huge change in % body fat and appearance!
The scale is pretty meaningless all in all. But unfortunately those body fat testers tend to be pretty inaccurate. Your best bet is to find a place that has a BodPod and do it every few months to cross reference with what you see in the mirror.
Mina, have you tried Crossfit? You would probably enjoy it for a change of pace if you like to work out heavy. There’s usually at least one gym in every city.
My DH and I are going to do a CrossFit Boot camp this winter for variety’s sake! 🙂 There is a “box” really close to us.
Sis,
Mina could probably answer this better than I can, but depending on your budget I would keep going with the dumbbells and by incremental weights. From there I would buy a 45 lb bar, then a bench, the the free weights for the bar. If a gym might be an option in the future, some have excellent care for children (that the kids actually like to go to) while other have horrible child care. If this is an option, look carefully into the child care. It’s a nice break for you and the kids during the day.
Phedre,
I’m not familiar with Crossfit at all. That superslow protocol sounds brutal but highly affective.
As regards diet, before my allergies started up again I was thinking seriously about starting to add in more carbs in the form of rice and sweet potatoes (and some white potatoes. I love them). Being out for four months, though, I need to go back hard core to get back on my feet (which probably won’t go completely hard core until after the first of the year. There are certain foods I only eat at Christmas that I won’t give up 🙂 ) Once I am back on my feet I will be adding in more carbs, but likely still keeping it under 100 a day.
I don’t have any difficulty with over training any more, thank goodness. I can workout 7 days a week (with my rest being being just cardio) with little difficulty. I can’t always make it 7 days with the kids, but I don’t get overtrained now that my body has adjusted. T-Nation had a good article up recently about this. I will see if I can dig it up later today.
I would still be interested in hearing your nutrition ideas, though. If you are really interested, let me know and you could turn it into a guest post. I’d love to put it in the blog.
RedPillWifey,
Lifting weights will make such a huge difference. After my weight watchers experience I was a size 8. After lifing weights, at the same weight I was in a 6. (depending on the maker of the clothes of course). With adding in low carb (and cutting out dairy, which I hate to do) I came darn close to a size four and actually weighed less than I did in college. My new goal is to hit that size 4 and be 5 lbs less than college. I could never reach that without lifting. It’s quite amazing how it changes your body.
The best way to get working with heavier weights is to 1. decide that is what you are going to do and 2. use whatever weight you can do comfortably with 8-12 reps. No more no less.
If you simply increment weight by 5-10lbs for whatever exercise you are doing when you get to 12 reps easily, you will increase muscle mass within your body’s capabilty to do so. No more than 3-4 exercises per body part, 3-4 sets of each exercise and 8-12 reps per set. There’s your math! 🙂
Minimum equipment are dumbbells 5, 10, 12, 15 and 20; an Olympic bar; a curling bar and a set of weights for each bar type. 2.5s, 5s, 10s should be all you need. I also have a pulley station for doing various cable type exercises and a bench which is nice. The bench doubles as a squat rack.
Agree with Stingray. I haven’t trained seriously for many years and got pretty fat / sloppy. Size 6-8 with middle aged fat. You know the drill. As of today, better body than in college (size 2-4) AND I recently fit into my size 2 form-fitting wedding dress (yes I just had it dry cleaned! it only took me 15 years to take it in LOL) I don’t have an ounce of flab and I’ve had 3 kids!! it’s amazing. Weight lifting did it all. BTW my weight has only changed by about 8 pounds.
I like you Mina, you’re a fun addition to this group.
Oh be careful. You just met me!! LOL!! 😀
Stingray, if your budget allows and you’re looking for variety, doing a Crossfit Bootcamp with your husband, like Mina is doing with hers, is TONS of fun.
For me there isn’t a ‘box’ close enough to have it as my main type of exercise, but I like to do it every once in a while just to remind myself how much of the effort you put in is mental rather than physical. It taught me that I can push my body way way harder than I will ever think possible in the moment. In every single workout you get to the point where you’re like, ‘I CANNOT do another rep of this’, and then you see that you’re only halfway through and you have no choice but to keep going. And you finish it. That feeling of achieving what only 10 minutes previously seemed utterly impossible, and doing that over and over again, is an incredible lesson in how little we fathom the power of our own body and the power of our own mind. I haven’t encountered anything else where that lesson can be made so explicitly.
This is why I recommend it to people. There are plenty of ways to put on muscle and burn fat, but this lays down in your brain a fundamental understanding what true effort feels like both physically and mentally. (Incidentally, something women tend to be quite lacking in compared to men)
This video is an example of a very high-level workout, but in the last third you can see the immense effort these women are making:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/051204.mov
Thank you for the guest post offer 😀
Let me pool my ideas together and see if the result is of comment or post nature! How can I email you if it’s of the latter?
Phedre,
That video is . . . amazing. My husband would not be at all interested. He loves the gym and I can’t see anything pulling him into any type of class. I would like, for a change, but unfortunately, the closest one is too far away.
If you want to write something up and it comes to post length, let me know in the about page and we’ll work it out.
What do you decorate a gym with at Christmas?
Muscle-toe
Getting fit is one thing; getting muscular is quite another. I personally think a muscular woman is unattractive and unfeminine (as in the first pic) but that’s just me.
dear God do i love watching the girls interacting. lol.
dear God I do love watching men get all offended by how us ladies like to get fit and the levels we take it to. Good thing there’s only one man whose opinion matters to me. Hint: it ain’t yours. LOL
the news is that this is one of the few good places on the Internet for women like us to talk without all of that emotional ciao-ciao you men bring into it. sit back, watch and enjoy. we don’t mind if you keep most of your opinions to yourself.
if we want them we’ll go pay a visit to the Manosphere and remind ourselves why this is so much better.
Mina,
Danny is being sincere. He really does like to watch women interact and not to make fun of us. He’s a good man and finds women interacting fascinating. That’s all. You might like his blog. Check it out.
Titanium,
Thank you for your comment. I get confused by what men find too muscular vs. fit.
That first woman has to be on testosterone injections. Her facial structure has even been affected by it in that it’s more masculine from it.
I wasn’t talking about Danny’s comment 🙂 I do like him and have looked with interest at his blog several times. I was more referring to men who feel the need to come onto a woman’s blog filled with women talking about fitness and tell us what we should be doing with our bodies for our men based on what he finds attractive. Solipsism? LOL I am assuming Titanium is a man.
Ahh, sorry, Mina.
Solipsism?
Well? . . . Yes. Titanium was merely giving his personal preference. Not demeaning what our conversation was. I think he merely commented after reading the post and seeing the pictures in it. I don’t think he was reacting to the conversation at all. If he was reacting to the conversation, he can’t know what any of us really look like so he can’t opine about us. Just what he knows and what he likes. He wasn’t offering what he thinks we should do with our own bodies, rather he was just joining the conversation.
Hey! Nice to see a woman talking about free weights!
nice !
Most people DONT EVEN LIFT!
Stay safe!
Thanks Ramiro!
A great post, and one more women should take to heart. My wife does crossfit, but our gym is much more weight orientated instead of beating you down with cardio-esque HIT workouts. She said she did a s-ton of 180# squats today and maxed her bench at 135# today. Her butt has gotten banging and she’s strong and toned (probably too strong for Danny 🙂 ) and while not super duper lean, I love her body and curves (and she’s lost 12 lbs over the last few months). :BigFanOfWomenLifting: Check out Lift Big, Eat Big’s webpage and facebook page for ideas.
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