I have been thinking a lot about submission and respect lately given the latest question we’ve been discussing (I realize we’ve talked about this thoroughly, but I wanted to get these thoughts out there).  It occurred to me during this that respecting my husband and submitting to him has moved beyond something I do because it is right and something that I do for him.  It has become something that I do for myself, as well.

It’s as if submission has become a real part of who I am.  It began as something I would rail against because I thought that was what I was supposed to do.  It moved on to something that I was good at, but I still somewhat feared because I didn’t fully understand it.  Now, it seems to be taking a new form.  It is becoming part of who I am.  It is moving away from something that I need to work at (though I believe the work never truly ends) on to something far more solid.  It is becoming a foundational of part of who I am and what I bring to our marriage.  It is something that, if threatened, I would fight tooth and nail to protect.

In talking about this feeling of solidity, of it being something that I not only do for him, but for myself as well, Maritus said, well yes.  It is becoming foundational for you.  We are different but complimentary.  We are two but one.

Who answering, said to them: Have ye not read, that he who made man from the beginning, Made them male and female? And he said: 5 For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall be in one flesh. 6 Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

Matthew 19:4-9

I didn’t quite understand what he meant but I think I do now.  We are two people who, through our marriage and our holy vows, have become one.  The foundation of our marriage is Maritus the leader and me the supporter.  Without his lead, or without my submission we struggled to be one.  The more one we are, the more one we allow ourselves to be, the more solid our foundation will be.  No man can put asunder a marriage where both the husband and the wife know who they are and what they must do.  When he leads for her, but also for himself he leads for them as one.  When she submits for him, but also for herself she submits for them as one.

Work to become one in your marriage and see your foundation grown stronger.

EDIT: It occurred to me this morning that I wrote above that I cannot submit and that Maritus cannot lead.  That was poor writing on my part.  Even without his lead I can submit and without my submission he can lead the family.  However, with one element missing the marriage is not working to reach it’s full potential.  It is floundering in it’s foundation.  One spouse can work to keep the foundation strong while the other is finding his or her way.  It’s what we so often talk about here.