A few years ago Laura Grace Robins wrote a great post called The Wife Whisperer (find her new blog, Unmasking Feminism here). In it she describes how much of what Cesar Millan talks about in teaching a dog to be calm and submissive can also apply to teaching one’s wife and in becoming the pack leader. In thinking about this post it occurred to me that we wives can learn a whole lot.
If you have ever watched a man and his dog, it is a sight to behold. Any woman should count herself quite lucky to be loved in that way. A man takes the time to teach his dog precisely because he loves and respects the animal because a trained dog is a happy dog. Once that dog is trained, she is not only happy, but feels loved and safe (Danny has a lot more on this in talking about Brody. He had a similar post up at one point as Laura Grace Robins but I can’t find it now).
In thinking about Laura Grace Robin’s post I remember this song and thought that it makes an excellent point. Men love their dogs enough and train them so they are happy in their new pack/family. In return the man gets so much.
“Like My Dog”
He never says why don’t you get off that couch?
He don’t cost me nothin’ when he wants to go out
I want you to love me like my dogHe never says I need a new attitude
Him and my sister ain’t always in a feud
When I leave the seat up he don’t think that it’s rude
I want you to love me like my dog does Baby!When I come home, want you to just go crazy
He never looks at me like he might hate me
I want you to love me like my dogHe never acts like he don’t care for my friends
He never asks me where in the hell have you been?
He don’t play dead when I wanna pet him
I want you to love me like my dog does honey!He never says ‘I wish you made more money’
He always thinks that pull my finger’s funny
I want you to love me like my dog
He don’t get mad at me and throw a major fit
When I say his sister is a bitch!
I want you to love me like my dog does baby
When I come home, want you to just go crazy
He never looks at me like he might hate me
I want you to love me like my dog!
I want you to love me like my dog does Baby!
I think that women can take a lot of advice from the lyrics of this song and from the way a man’s dog shows love and affection (not all ways, mind you. I don’t think most men would enjoy being followed everywhere around the house all the time. They may like it if you lie down at their feet, though!)
~ A wife should be content with things around the house. Sure, some home improvement is great and can make a home more comfortable. However, complaining about unnecessary things is tedious and annoying.
~ A wife should try her best not to complain about her husband at all, to his face or away from him. When he’s sitting on the couch relaxing ask him if he needs anything and find the joy in serving him.
~ Realize that going out with your man is the fun part. It’s the spending time together, not the cost or affluence of the event, that is important.
~ For goodness sake don’t nag. Ever. It doesn’t work, and if for some reason it ever does, you won’t respect him when he does what you nagged him into doing.
~ Greet him at the door when he gets home. I never used to do this as it felt kind of awkward. I’m not sure why it did, but since I have started doing it it has turned into such a great part of the day. I have always looked forward to hearing him pull into the driveway. Greeting him at the door makes it even more exciting to hear his car. It’s wonderful for both of us.
~ Never look at your husband with a look of hatred or contempt. There are very few people in this world who deserve that kind of look or that level of disrespect. You should do your utmost to never even look at him in an annoyed manner. Sure, it may happen and it may even be for a good reason. That doesn’t mean he need ever see the look cross your face.
~ There is nothing wrong with your husband going out with his friends as most men just want to enjoy some time with other men. Encourage this! Have him invite his friends to the house and cook a spread for them all. In the meantime, head out to a movie, to dinner with a girlfriend or anything else. If that’s not in the cards, do your best to give him other opportunities with his friends. Sometimes a man is going to release a lot more stress with a night out with his friends than he can in any other way. This is a good thing.
~ When your husband “pets’ you, respond with alacrity! You might not always be in the mood, but if you let yourself you soon will be.
~ “Major fits” are never necessary. There are going to be problems and disagreements in any marriage. It’s unavoidable. You’re also going to get angry from time to time. Getting angry never justifies a fit. Stay calm and figure it out together. If you really don’t think you can, tell him that you are too angry to talk right now and need to discuss it later. We all get irrational from time to time. If you just let him know that your head is not in the right place at that moment, chances are quite good he will understand that and talk things through later. During rather hormonal times I’ve told Maritus that my head’s in a bad place and I think I just need to be left alone. He asks if I need anything or if there is anything he can do to help and then he completely leaves me alone until it passes. When it’s over, it’s over.
~ Be respectful. That’s what most of the song above boils down to. A dog respects and loves his man. It is not too much for a man to ask his wife do the same.
~ Submit. A happy dog is a submissive dog. Most submissive wive’s discover the same thing.
~ Be loyal. Dogs are incredibly loyal animals and a man knows that his dog will do almost anything it can for him. I tend to think this is a huge reason men love dogs the way they do. Please understand that this does not simply mean that a wife will not cheat. It means that a wife has her husband’s back. If a friend expects you to speak badly of your husband, you simply don’t. If someone else speaks ill of your husband, you stand up for him. You put your husband first, and if that means that you might lose some friends in the process, so be it. This is the man you married for life, for better or for worse and if there are people in your life that have difficulty with that, you need to stand in his corner every time.
Now, I know that some women take offense at being compared to a dog and apparently Laura Grace Robin’s took a lot of heat for her post. If this post irritates you, stop and think for a moment of how noble a creature a dog can be. Now be a noble wife.