Laura Doyle will be doing her AMA at the Red Pill Women Reddit from 9AM to 6PM PST today. I will be posting choice quotes here throughout the day.
~ I did not realize I was being controlling–only that I was being very “Helpful.” I was helping him dress better, eat healthier, with his resume, etc. But helpful in wife language is critical in husband language.
~ I try to just stick to the facts and let them know what A Surrendered Wife just acknowledges that she can’t change anyone besides herself so she doesn’t try. She won’t tell her husband how to drive, what to eat or what to do at work. Instead, she focuses on her own happiness, and that, in turn, improves the intimacy.
~ When I stopped being the arm-chair quarterback of my husband’s life, what emerged for me was that I was called to write books. . . .So it’s interesting to ask yourself what’s going on in your own life that may need attention when you’re wanting to tell your husband what to do. What will emerge for you as you take your eyes off of what he’s doing and focus on what you’re doing? I’ve seen other women have some pretty amazing quantum leaps the same way.
~ I still remember that when I was learning to surrender and really had no idea what I was doing, I was just a terrified mess and didn’t think it would work for me. I didn’t know I was controlling, I didn’t know there was another way. I remember a woman saying to me, after I asked her for advice, that she tried never to criticize her husband no matter how much it seemed like he deserved it and I said, “Have you got anything else?” Cause in my head I thought, I am NOT going to do that! I didn’t think I COULD do that. Didn’t seem possible at the time. So I have a lot of compassion for women who are where I was back then. (The rest of this comment is fantastic as well. I recommend you read the whole thing.)
~ but if you want him to be more of a man, it’s like the old Cody commercial: Try being more of a woman.
~ But the very biggest gift you can give to that child is a playful, passionate relationship with his or her father.
~ But I have discovered that as a woman, I have some special gifts that I bring to my relationship and to the world. I’m not a smaller, less-hairy man, I’m an entirely different gender, and although it took me a long time to see the distinction, now I can’t unsee it! So when I’m sharing my experience with wives, I really am sharing partly about how to honor and celebrate our gifts as women, which are very different than men’s gifts.
For example, women are the keepers of the relationship. This is true all over the world, I’ve learned, and that means that if we learn the skills that contribute to intimate, passionate, peaceful relationships (either by reading a book or by watching our moms or grandmas or some other role model) then the relationship thrives. If not, the relationship suffers. Men don’t have that same power. That’s why I feel we women have a responsibility to learn the Intimacy Skills and practice them.