I want to share a field report with you from RPW today.
I happened upon the red pill life back in January of this year. I was looking for ways to improve my new marriage by getting back to traditional values and was trying to research ways when a link popped up concerning red pill. Eventually I found my way here and became obsessed. My old ways were mostly easy to give up – or so I thought. I adopted the red pill woman mentality relatively easily. When I read The Surrendered Wife and tried to implement Laura’s ideas, I hit some road blocks.
I would literally have to trust my husband with everything; our livelihood, multiple decisions about family and money, stuff I knew based on our two year relationship, he couldn’t do. He forgets literally everything I tell him, even if it’s multiple times. One weekend I had to work and the kids wore the same underwear two days in a row! I fell apart, came here to try and get my questions answered on how to fix my husband and make him an alpha – and had my ass torn apart and handed back to me. I almost gave up the whole red pill idea right then. But one poster in particular (I’ll always remember her!) said something that clicked and it as something to the effect of I was only fooling myself into thinking I had surrendered but by the way I told my story it was obvious to red pill women I had not.
So I tried again. Things honestly couldn’t get worse for my husband and I unless he was to lose his job. We rent a place from his parents, drive cars that are over 10 years old and are financially quite poor and over burdened. So I thought, “what the hell? Things truly can’t get much worse” and I just let my husband have it all. Do you know what? I have never been more happy to be so completely wrong about something in my whole life!!!!!!
What a burden has been lifted off my shoulders to not handle the finances anymore! He’s stepped up, created a budget, he gives me a budget I can stick to and as long as I’m under it I know we have money. He goes after sales bonuses like a lion after prey because he now sees the money in our account directly – I haven’t looked at our bank account in months! Just recently my husband needed to replace his car and we had money saved because he had begun a car fund. He was talking up a real storm about a car I was worried would cost too much in upkeep and insurance and isn’t practical for our family – do you know he gave up on that car himself?! He asked me my opinion on the car and I was DYING to give it to him but instead I did as Mrs. Doyle instructed and replied “whatever you think.” He instead changed his mind and bought a 4 door sedan and actually came in under budget! And our insurance dropped $25 a month! The change has been incredible!
The best part is that my husband noticed my changes and thanked me the other day. “I’ve never felt more in charge of my own life or family and I’ve never felt more like a man in any relationship.” That’s what he said to me. I’ll always be red pill and always be a surrendered wife. It truly does work.
One of the first things that is very noticeable about new women coming in and wanting to change their marriages is how they want to benefits of submitting, but don’t actually want to submit. The idea of real submission is so terrifying that it is literally inconceivable. They dress prettily, the cook, they clean, but when it comes to really letting go, to truly submitting to their man, they can’t do it and they can’t even admit they can’t do it. What they want is to top from the bottom. They need to maintain true control for fear of relinquishing.
I don’t say this to pick on these women (To a different degree I was there at one point, as well). It’s all they know. It’s all they’ve been taught, in most cases, and the fear is real. But when they surrender and truly let go of their fear (or at least not let it rule them), blossoming occurs. In the women. In the men, but most importantly, in the marriage.
The second thing I always notice in these progress field reports is that, when men are given the space to be masculine, they will be masculine. It has been taught out of them, but it is a natural part of who they are. Get out of the way and watch them be men.