This is another post that I wrote for RPW recently to address a disturbing trend in the comments. It’s something else I thought some of you would like.
A trend I’ve noticed here and there in the comments lately is this idea of being a perfect RPW or that the women here should live up to some perfect ideal set by the mods and Endorsed Contributors.
I would like to put this idea of perfect to rest. There is no perfect. There is only improvement.
To give you an example, I’ve been in the RP world now for about 6 years and I’ve learned a great deal. I’ve implemented it into my marriage and it has gone from good to great. This is not to say that I don’t have problems from time to time. That I don’t have set backs and sometimes just flat out fall on my face and fail. I don’t talk about it here very often for several reasons (none of them really conscious until I started to think about this issue) 1. My age. I’m old and I just don’t really talk about things like this with anyone. 2. I know what I did wrong and how to fix it. I just failed in the implementation. Or, in other words, I slipped up. 3. I’m very private especially when it comes to my husband.
There are probably other reasons, but there you go. Now, for the sake of exposure and truth, things have been stressful around here lately. We have a huge amount going on and my husband and I are both strung tight and very tired. I have been snippy (more than snippy) from time to time and causing some strife. Not horrible, but enough that we’ve been upset and angry with each other some over the past couple of weeks.
This is the usual stuff. Letting the frustration bubble up and saying something I shouldn’t in a tone that shouldn’t be used. My husband responding. I couldn’t tell you if he responded as he should or not, because that doesn’t really matter. I screwed up. I know I screwed up. After I had time to cool off, which took much longer than it usually does, I could see things for what they were and we moved on.
Things are coming to a close soon and the stress has let up some and things are getting back to normal. But I want the women here to know that there is no such thing as perfection when it comes to your relationship. It is never something to aspire to because it’s a false idea. What should be worked toward is continued improvement. There will always be something that you can improve in your relationship. It might become more and more difficult to pinpoint, but it is there. The only time one can utterly fail in this endeavor is to stop working to improve.
Perfection is not the ultimate goal here. Continuous work and improvement for life is.