He makes the excellent point that even though the manosphere can be difficult for women to read, the bloggers in it do not hate us. They wish to spread truth and just because it may hurt, does not mean it stems from hate. For the men, he really gets into keeping one’s eye out for a good woman to round out a man’s life and how rare a thing that is these days. (Ladies, if marriage is what you want then it is up to you to be this woman.)
Now, I would like to contrast this for my women readers with an article that Vox has linked to at Alpha Game today. The Lonely Legacy of my Sex and the City Lifestyle. In this article, Claudia Connell speaks rather candidly about many things that bloggers in the sphere have spoken about many times.
One thing I’m pretty sure of, though, is that I’ll be on my own, with no spouse to look out for me or children to visit.
At the age of 46, I accept that my opportunity to have a family has gone and the chances of meeting a decent man aren’t looking too rosy either.
Too many women are unaware of the effects of age on their ability to conceive (let alone finding a husband) because many of us have met those one or two women who have conceived into their early forties. However, we aren’t aware of how many women have tried to become pregnant at that age and failed. A woman’s peak fertility age is in her early twenties. According to the linked graph a woman in her early twenties has an 86% likelihood of getting pregnant within a one year period whereas a woman who is in her early 40’s has a 36% chance. This is yet another reason why I stated that a woman should decide at a young age if she wishes to marry. Your chances of attracting a husband are not only higher, your chances of having a healthy family are as well.
More from Connell,
For me, the single girl lifestyle that I embraced and celebrated with so much enthusiasm in the Eighties and Nineties has lost much of its gloss, and is starting to look a little hollow.
I was part of the Sex And The City generation — successful, feisty women who made their own money, answered to no one and lived life to the full.
When it came to men, our attitude to them was the same as it was towards the latest must-have handbag: only the best would do, no compromises should be made, and even then it would be quickly tired of and cast aside.
What none of us spent too long thinking about in our 20s and 30s was how our lifestyles would impact on us once we reached middle-age . . .
There is a life past 35 and 40 and women must begin to realize that the train will come to it’s station. What are they going to do then? Connell seems to have at least realized that she has made these decisions herself and she must live with them. However, there are many women at her age who don’t or won’t accept how their own decisions have put them in their current situations and are calling for men to marry them anyway. They attempt to shame men for not finding them attractive instead of looking to their own decisions for the reasons they are successful yet alone.
I’ve found myself thinking that perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad, after all, to have someone to cook for, discuss the plot of Homeland with, or just offload to after a particularly bad day.
Then there are the practicalities of finding someone who can shift a heavy piece of furniture or jump-start a car. If my married sister needs something done, she asks her husband. But when I need help, I have to pay someone £200 or more.
Many of us have been taught from childhood (some of you from infancy) that women are amazing creatures who can do anything a man can do and some things better. This has gone to the point that many women forget that marriage and life with a man is not about what she will be getting out of that life, rather it is about what she will be giving to it. Women need to stop thinking in terms of what they will get and instead focus on what they have to give. The saying “It is better to give than to receive” is very true and one will find that they will end up receiving so much more in return (Yes, I am quite aware that there are men out there who will always take without giving back, yet it will be quite apparent who this man is before a marriage).
What I never considered, though, was that one day [men would] stop coming along altogether. I really wish I’d known that once you’re in your late 30s, men are pretty thin on the ground. And once you’re in your 40s, it’s as though they’ve been wiped off the face of the Earth.
This really gets down to the heart of it. Women are in a position in this day and age to live however they wish. They have the means to make their own money and provide for themselves. And yet, more than ever before, women seem to be unaware that life will not be forever like it is in their 20’s. If a woman decides to not marry and have a career, she has every opportunity to do so. Along with this opportunity should come the knowledge that every decision has consequences. The chances are quite high that she will not find a quality man who wishes to settle down with her and have a family. Those men she describes here,
I also think it’s an uncomfortable truth that the sort of high-flying alpha males we were all holding out for didn’t want women like us. All the successful men I know have married sweet, uncomplicated women who are happy to forfeit their careers to support their husbands.
Along with the opportunity women so enjoy today must come the knowledge that the future will come and the decisions you make today very highly impact how it will play out. Your decisions must be made accordingly.