I’ve written a couple of posts at RPWi that I would like to share here.  Here’s the first (with a couple of minor edits):

A common theme for women accepting red pill truths is to try brushing away, smashing down, or otherwise ignoring the feelings that are causing problems. Hypergamy, the desire to fitness test, wanting to talk out of insecurity, fear, the ever present hamster, etc. This causes problems because these things never go away. Sure, we can lessen their influence and in some cases make them very rare, but they never really go away.

Our desire to abolish these things, to get rid of them by pushing them down, makes sense. We are trying to stop these behaviors so why not ignore them instead because they aren’t doing us any good. However, in my experience, pushing these things away might work in the short term, but long term they always come back and they always tend to come back with a vengeance. When this happens things tend to boil over and we fail, sometime spectacularly, at the things we were trying so hard to improve at.

Here is what I discovered. When these feelings pop up, whatever they may be. Do not push them away and do not ignore them. Rather, feel them. Allow yourself to feel what you are wanting to feel. That doesn’t mean you have to react to that feeling, it just means accept what you are feeling because there are reasons they are there. Those reasons might not be rational, but there are reasons regardless.

Those feelings are your reality and pushing them away allows you to not have to face that reality. What worked for me was just allowing myself to feel these things and then making myself face what is causing them. Pushing them down, I never had to face the root cause. I never had to face my irrationality and my rationality. It made things easier in the short term. In the long run, things would blow up.

Facing these things head on, accepting that you are feeling fear, anger, frustration, etc. will give you the time and the reason to mull these things over and figure out why you are feeling them. Not just the everyday hamster, but actually the reason why that thing is running loose. It is very often not the reason we initially think it is.

Accepting what is going on in your head for what it is gives you the opportunity to face reality. This is a far more effective tool in ridding yourself of feelings you know you shouldn’t have rather than just trying to smash these feelings away. They are there for a reason. Until you figure out what that reason is, you will never just push them away to get rid of them.

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